Bratja
by Akai-neechan
Summary: The silent monologues of two brothers, never to be voiced and never to be heard. Songfic.


**Title**: Bratja  
**Author**: Akai-neechan  
**Summary**: A sin has no need for a heart.  
**Corrections**: Last corrections made on 01.01.2012

_**A/N**: Where did this come from? No idea…  
I was listening to that song /again/ one Sunday afternoon and then my fingers started writing on their own. I typed and typed and left it halfway done for about a month or so. And today I stumbled upon it and decided to finish it. So, here it is: a little angsty oneshot on the song that can still make me cry. Enjoy. And please, review _

-.-.-

**Bratja**

-.-.-

Al…

I'm sorry…

_Prosti menya, mladshiy brat!  
Ya tak pred toboy vinovat.  
Pyitatsya vernut' nyelzya  
Togo, chto vzyala zyemlya._

I should have known, Al. I should have known what would happen. I should have known that alchemy wasn't all mighty… That even it couldn't bring back the death…

I should have known that no matter what we did we couldn't pull through with something like this. But I was stupid, I was so naïve… I thought that only because the formula was perfect we could do it… I'm sorry.

I never considered this. I never saw it coming.

And I should have.

Now what are we supposed to do? Just look at yourself! I hardly managed to keep you here. I almost got you killed.

I'm sorry…

_Kto znayet zakon Byitiya,  
Pomog byi mne nayti otvet.  
Zhestoko oshibsya ya;  
Ot smerti lekarstva nyet._

I knew the law, Al… You knew it too. Equivalent exchange. It was as simple as that. We wanted to create a life, why didn't we realize that we'll have to give one to receive it? Why didn't we see it?

It's because I was so hardheaded, wasn't it? That's why... I believed that only the physical ingredients were enough… Such a foolish mistake! Two drops of blood could never be equal to a soul!

I should have known there was a reason for human transmutation to be forbidden by law, but I still insisted we do it.

And now we both have to pay the price for my stupidity. You lost your body, Al how can my arm and leg be equal to that?

_Milaya mama! Nyezhnaya!  
Myi tak lyubili tebya.  
No vse nashi silyi  
Potrachenyi byili zrya._

I still remember those eyes, Al. They're staring at me now they won't go away! The eyes of that… that thing we created… It was horrible… It's going to haunt me forever…

How could it end up like this? What did we do wrong?

I just wanted to see her smile again... I wanted her to look at us with that bright look in her eyes to talk to us with her soft voice. I wanted to be by her side again, I wanted to have our mother back, was that so much to ask for!

But the more I think about it now, the more I realize how foolish all of this was. People don't come back to life…

Maybe they do in fairytales but not in life, Al. you can never have a happy end in life… there's no such thing. If you want one, you need to give something of an equal value; to _lose_ something of an equal value… wouldn't that destroy the 'happy' in 'happily ever after'?

_Tebya soblaznil ya  
Prekrasnoy nadezhdoy  
Vernut' nash semeynyiy ochag.  
Moy brat, ya vo vsem vinovat._

It wasn't fair, you know? I said we could do it; I was so certain that I made you believe... I tricked you into joining me into this, because I didn't think I could do it on my own.

And now this is what happened.

This is what happened because I was enough of an idiot to continue with this, even though everything was against it. The military, sensei, that bastard's research, even… everything was against us and we still continued… because I refused to let it go…

I did all of this to you, Al. It's because of my mistake that your body is like this and I'll never forgive myself for dooming you, little brother. I know I never will.

I'm sorry, Al…

-.-.-

Brother…

I'm sorry

_Nye plach', nye pechal'sya, starshiy brat!  
Nye tyi odin vinovat.  
Doroga u nas odna,  
Iskupim vinu do dna._

I bet you're blaming yourself, aren't you? For everything that happened. For what we created, for what happened to our bodies…

It's not your fault, brother. It never was.

It wasn't your fault that we did this, it wasn't your fault that it turned out like this.

Your plans were perfect and you know it. The formula, the circle, the ingredients… Everything was perfect and in place…

We were the ones that were wrong, not your calculations.

It's not fair that you would want to take all of the blame, you know? I did everything together with you. I was the one who stayed by your side and helped you instead of trying to make you leave this behind. I was the one who waited for this day as eagerly as you did, I was the one who never stopped you and forgot all of my fears, because I was most afraid to live alone.

I was too afraid, brother… too afraid to even stop you…

_Mnye nye v chem tebya upreknut'.  
I ya nye obihen nichut'.  
Tyazhek, nash gryekh  
Khotet' byit' silneye vsekh._

I hope you know this, brother – I don't blame you for anything. Nothing that happened that night was because of you. You did your best for our dream; you gave everything for that wish to come true.

How can I ever blame you, when I went the same path as you did?

I hope you know this, brother. I hope you realize that if there's any fault, it falls on both of us.

I hope that you don't blame yourself, too, brother, for this body of mine. I was too stupid to stop you, I deserve what I got.

I can never blame you for something like this, I can never hate you.

We're brothers; we have to help each other and keep each other strong, don't we? Even when if don't feel strong enough ourselves…

I don't know why we do this, brother. Why we try to bear the blame, why we don't talk to others. Maybe it' because all that happened was our mistake… is that it?

Because it was… And I hope that one day we'll be able to correct that mistake, brother, I know we will!

But only if we keep supporting each other until then and only if we stick together.

_Milaya mama! Nyezhnaya!  
Myi tak lyubili tebya.  
No vse nashi silyi  
Potrachenyi byili zrya._

But we can never correct what we did to mom, you know? That thing… If it could ever be called human…

It felt so wrong, brother… When it all started… Why would such a dream end this way? Why didn't we have our past back?

I think that it was way too bold of us to believe that anything could happen just because we wanted it.

Everything we did, every night we spent reading and studying and developing that formula, that circle…

What did we even get from all of that, brother? Where's the equivalent exchange? We only lost from it!

We lost our time, we lost our bodies and we lost our dream.

And all we got is this burden to hang on our shoulders. All we got were these bodies that aren't our own.

Our life was never supposed to become like this…

_Ya sam soblaznilsya  
Prekprasnoy nadezhdoy  
Vernut' nash semeinyiy ochag.  
Ya sam vo vsem vinovat._

We just wanted our family… Is that so much to ask?

I remember when you first mentioned the entire prospect… of resurrecting our mother. It seemed like a faraway ream back then…

And even though the years we spent in researching and studying cast a shadow of doubt and uncertainty over me, I kept quiet.

And I should have told you, brother. I should have tried to stop you instead of helped you. It's only because I was so blinded by my dream that things became like this. It's only because… I didn't say a word…

If someone is to blame, that someone is me.

I'm sorry, brother.

-.-.-

_No chto zhe nam delat', kak byit'?  
Kak vse ispravit', zyabyit'?  
Pyitat'sya vernut' nyel'zhya,  
Togo, chto vzyala zyemlya._

Only darkness surrounded the boys in the quiet room, none of them aware of what dark future awaited them, taking their time to dwell in their mistakes and forget the present.

Because there would be time to live only when the past was overcome and the future was foreseen.

Not sooner, not later.


End file.
